The state of my subconscious on the night of my first anniversary.

We burst into the bathroom and she is crouched in a pathetic little space at the back of the shower, back and shoulders and elbows pressed together and glistening like a frog. Water pours from the shower hose to her forehead and down her nose and gathers at the point of her chin, streaming like a liquid beard to splash on the tiles at her feet. Her skin is blotchy white and purple with broken red blood vessels and thick blue marker lines where all of her veins are bound beneath her skin.
She cries.
We shout STOP, but she's not doing anything. There's not much blood at all, a few unhealthy brown dribbles swirling over the tiles. She was never really going to do it. She just wanted to be found.

So the six of us go to the beach, but even in the car we know we are foolish. Grey wisps pass across the sky swift as smoke from candle you have just blown out. Every cloud is darker than the last. We climb out of the car and march down to the shore, slipping on thongs and loose T-shirts to protect us from the rays of the sun. The sand is grey and barren, but there are dozens of people splayed across it and splashing in the sapphire-sparkling water. As we walk toward the water, a thick mass of black begins to seep from the horizon and into the sky. It spreads like an ink spill, first blushing and then consuming its medium. Below the blanket of pitch, beachgoers flee the water like extras in a zombie movie. Hard rain plummets from the sky.
We turn and return to the car.

My car is parked in a basement carpark. I emerge from the lift with a handful of others and step into the concrete cavern where the cute little girly-blue vehicle awaits me. I suddenly realise that although I am not alone, my car is the only one parked down here, and too late I turn around with a question and find myself facing a grinning man with a Number Two cut. He reaches out. There are others. Even a woman. Blonde, solid. I am pushed against a fat concrete pillar and I scream as my clothes are rejected from my body.