I scream in frustration! Want to smash and destroy! Things are not going my way. Why? I'll tell you. You're me, right?
You're a writer. You want to write fiction - maybe for the screen, maybe not. You haven't written anything you're proud of in over a year, and you blame it on university, despite the fact that you're actually studying creative writing. Studies get in the way because you have to write what they tell you to write, and you don't feel like you have complete ownership over it.
But now you're on holiday. You have no less than three almost fully-formed story ideas kicking around in your head. You're ready to go. You know?
Open up Word.
Choose a gorgeous font. Garamond... no! No! Bookman Old Style. Perfect.
Hands hover over the keyboard.
...nothing.
Okay, different approach.
Pen to paper.
It's a really nice pen. It's metallic-blue and has a velvety grip on its nose. Has your Dad's business name printed in gold on the side. Inky. Delicious.
...nothing.
Why? The idea is there. You know exactly how the story will unfold. You've done a bit of research, you know how the technical details will work. You've named all your characters; written a plan. You've written the opening paragraph to this story about five or six times, and hate every version. Why won't the story come out right?
Do you wonder, at this point, whether the story should be written at all? Maybe it's a stillbirth. Maybe it wasn't meant to live.
In a highly figurative, non-spiritual-wanker-type way, I think stories have souls. I think that once they are formed as ideas in the writer's mind, it is simply a matter of their flowing out through the fingertips. All my best stories have been written this way. I'll read back over one and wonder how I came up with it. I certainly wasn't agonising over the wording at the time, yet here it is on the paper now, and it's just exactly right. When I consciously try, it comes out wrong over and over and over again.
Being that you're not me anymore, answer me this: how do your stories form? At what point will you abandon an idea for dead?
About Miriam
Miriam is studying the Bachelor of Professional & Creative Writing. (Yes. That's actually a degree.) She's also flirting with the film industry. She shares a home with two ferrets, a moustachioed father figure, and a guitar with a brother attached.
She is tenuously employed, in a stable relationship for the first time in her life, and drives a little blue car that doesn't belong to her.
My Pets
Snuffles, the ferret with a heart of pure cotton wool.
Cambridge University - the mean one. She is the picture of indignant fury.
Woofgang - the killer puppy.
Dead Pets
Roxy spent half her life in a plastic collar. I loved her to pieces.
Fidget - my first ferret. I cried all day when she died.
1 comment:
Feeling similar tonight. I can't finish some of my election stuff. None of it is coming out right. But i need to finish. I have a deadline!
Oh, why do i bother, i'm not going to convince anybody.
How do my ideas form?
The ideas most commonly originate when on public transport or when being kissed. They are brilliant, clear and have a middle and end but never a beginning. I get home and attempt to bring the idea to life but more often than not it doesn't do the thought justice. It's likely my vocabulary isn't big or special enough. That, and i think visually. I don't think words, i think images. Therefore my writing can be annoyingly descriptive.
When will i abandon an idea for dead?
When i'd rather colour co-ordinate my book collection. If writing becomes a chore, jump ship and start afresh.
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