Lazy Survey - Me and the Girl

I shouldn't actually be answering this - it's supposed to be for marrieds - but screw that! Marriage is for stupid-heads anyway.

Who is your partner?
A girl of some description.

How long have you been together?
Since I got hot.

How long did you date?
It started out as like a couple of hours, and then it got longer.

How old is your partner?
She’s older than me but nobody would ever assume this, because she’s so terribly youthful like a little floppy bunnyrabbit.

Who eats more?
If she has pasta for dinner, she will eat the same amount of pasta as every person in my household would. You know, together. It's sort of like a magician's trick.
"No way, man. How did you fit all that pasta into that one little girl?"

Who said "I love you" first?
In a surprise move, I did. It was pretty special. She'd heard it before. I hadn't.

Who is taller?
One time we both got stoned at a ridiculous party, and a crazy chick came up to us and started waving her hand in the air in front of us diagonally.
“Wow. You guys are like, exactly the same height. That is so cool.”
She was so thrilled at this incredible discovery that she made enough noise for other people to gather and remark. It was eventually decided that she was tallest. We sniggered to one another because I’m actually several inches higher above the ground, and then we kept sniggering, and then suddenly I couldn’t stop, and I got terribly embarrassed, and then someone sat me down and gave me a glass of water and got out a camera. Then I couldn’t remember which of us was taller anymore.

Who sings better?
I may never find out. She is excruciatingly private about seemingly trivial things such as this.

Who is smarter?
Oh my, let’s not get into this. According to Tickle.com and Facebook’s 30 question IQ test (not dubious in the least), I have a near-genius IQ of 142. She won’t do one of these, so we can’t even compare on an incredibly base level – though I think with a question sample that minuscule, your result is largely down to luck.
Anyway, my thoughts are that we are both very intelligent people and we both struggle to show it at times. She thinks I’m smarter but I think she’s wrong.

Whose temper is worse?
I rarely get angry. When I do, it’s usually a kind of cold fury that manifests itself in quiet but biting remarks. She is far more tempestuous. She’s capable of serious damage sometimes. So I suppose hers is worse.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Usually me. She takes the wall, I take the edge. It’s mainly because I’ll have set an alarm on my phone, and neither of us wants me to clamber across her peaceful body in the horrid light of the morning to turn it off. We both know if I do that, she’ll curl all her tentacles around my body and pull me in like a ravenous Kraken, and the alarm will enter a fight to the death with my phone battery.

Who cooks dinner?
I do… for some reason I tend to claim the kitchen most nights, though I’m no better a cook than she is. In fact, she’s probably better, since she's actually had some lessons with her mother. The extent of my cooking education is a short period of Home Ec taught by my high school principal.
You see, our class, the so-called nerd class, wasn’t scheduled to do Home Ec, ever. And, sure, we were booked in to be the next engineers and doctors and lawyers of our generation, but did that mean we were going to have house chefs? So we made a collective complaint and requested a term of Home Ec. They couldn't find a real Home Ec teacher so the principal stood in. She'd do anything to keep her Accelerated Learning kids happy. Awww.

Who drives when you are together?
She ain’t gots a licence. Or a car. Well, I don’t gots a car either but I like to pretend I do. Putt-putt-putt-putt. It’s blue. Brrrrrrrbrbrrrrrr.

Who pays when you go out?
See, she's poor and I'm a miser, so neither of us ever really want to pay, and it gets so terribly confusing since we're both women and neither of us are meant to pay...
It usually turns into a ginger offering from both of us before one eventually takes a step closer to the cash counter and the other shrugs and settles back down in her seat a little too readily to be convincingly disappointed.

Who is most stubborn?
We’re both damn stubborn but she’s sweeter inside than me, and she usually cracks first. With me, there's not really much strawberry soft-centre below the surface - all you get is the marshmallow on top and after that it's all hard 70% cocoa. So if I’ve decided not to give up, I rarely will.

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
Usually her. Same as above really. If I’ve decided I’m right, I’m fucking right, alright?

Whose parents do you see the most?
Mine. I’ve got the whole Mummy’s Girl thing going on, and I’m pretty sucky-up to my Daddy too (see that other post about my parents from before) and I feel the need to share them around. Whereas she sees less of her parents and to be frank, I’m fearful of some of them.

Who kissed who first?
Well, I’d say I did, but she says it was crap. She kissed me next, and it was much better, so she’d prefer to consider that our first kiss. But still, it was me!

Who asked who out?
I’m so not sure at all. Both? Neither. We didn’t really do that stuff. We just kept running into one another and eventually we slept together.

Who proposed?
I propose weekly. She’s just not ready for that kind of commitment. Also, I always forget to bring the ring.

Who is more sensitive?
Well, I’ll cry a fishtank most weeks, but she’s just as delicate as I am – only she’s got a pretty strong mask on it most of the time.

Who has more friends?
I do, and I constantly complain that I don’t see them enough. When I was single (oh, eternally single) I used to talk bitterly about how people in relationships neglected their friends, and would only come crawling back when the relationship started ailing.
“I wouldn’t do something like that if I ever got a girlfriend!” I said. “Well, those people can just forget it. Crawl all you want, I won’t help you back up. Deserters!”
Well, these days I spend most of my social time with her, some time working and some time studying (heh) and the rest seeking the isolation my INTP self so desperately craves. It’s a little embarrassing considering my hardline policy, and I often feel like I should spend less time with her, on principle, and do more with my other friends. I don’t, though. My fault.

Who wears the pants in the family?
She’s the man.
That's right. I said it.